I read an article published in the Mail Online yesterday (I know, don’t ask) which was entitled: The Jordan Effect: Third of young women would swap IQ for larger breasts. It described the findings of a poll that claimed nearly half of young women aged 18 – 25 would rather have large breasts than high IQ’s and that a further 40% stated they would rather be thin than clever.
Possible flaws in the interpretation of the information collated for this poll have already been covered by Used To Be Somebody who has written a really good post, not only about the findings themselves, but about how media portrayal of successful working women may have influenced them. However it is the attitudes towards, and assumptions made about, women who dare to admit that they would choose beauty over brains that I am interested in exploring here.
I remember once at work, years ago, taking a young woman from the refuge to see a drug and alcohol support worker. She was withdrawing from heroin and hoped to be prescribed some sort of opiate substitute to assist her through her de-tox. Instead, to her annoyance, the support worker wished to talk to her about her aspirations for the longer term. Where would she like to be in five years time for example? The young woman had sighed wearily, rolled her eyes and said,
“I dunno, a footballers wife?”
The support worker – a hard faced woman in her forties with a Suzi Quatro hair-do and tattoos covering the entirety of her forearms (I hazarded a guess at ex-boozer) – struggled initially to contain her contempt. I watched as she quickly reigned herself in, re-arranged her features, then said in a soothing, vaguely patronising tone, like one might speak to a small fractious child,
“Well, you’re certainly a very pretty girl but let’s see how you feel after you’ve been clean for a time shall we? It may be that you find yourself wanting to do and be a little more than that.”
I remember sitting silently in that depressing little green painted room and feeling, suddenly, a hot flash of anger. The young woman sitting in front of us was anything but stupid. She did not lack drive, nor did she lack resourcefulness. A large heroin habit is expensive, and this girl had been living off her wits in order to generate a huge income for herself by whichever means necessary since before she had been old enough to vote. Certainly she was a survivor of some horrendous circumstances and entitled to some practical and emotional support, but she was no dummy, and the whiff of superiority and judgement emanating from the support worker set my teeth on edge.
It is this memory that has brought into focus for me my discomfort, not only at many of the comments written in response to the Mail On Line post (comments that suggest any woman wishing to swap her IQ for larger breasts must not have had much of an IQ in the first place) but also my more general unease at some of the tone surrounding broader discussion of women’s self image and appearance and how those things tie in to our dreams and aspirations.
I have found that when it comes to sneering at those presumed to be unenlightened, it is often women purporting to be feminists that are the worst offenders. Distaste for their fellow women who happen not to want the things they deem worthy of approval drips palpably through their words and opinions. All these girls who’d rather win America’s Next Top Model than a Nobel prize? Ugh. Silly cows eh?
Well no, actually. I would argue that young women are neither stupid nor silly. I would argue that they know exactly which side their bread is buttered; that they know instinctively that if what they’re looking to achieve in life is social success, majority approval, financial security and an easy ride, then prioritising their physical attractiveness over their intellectual improvement might well be a far safer bet. Has it never occurred to anyone that these young women have simply taken a good look around them and come to an entirely reasonable and rational decision about what the best cards are to play? With that in mind the most they could ever be accused of is putting their own perceived needs above that of the greater female good. And who isn’t occasionally guilty of acting in their own self-interest, even when it may be to the detriment of others? Selfishness may not be the most pleasant trait in the world but it is certainly not indicative of a lack of nous.
Now lest anyone get the wrong idea, let me make perfectly clear that I find the idea of women valuing their physical attributes over and above all other qualities as depressing as anyone. A life devoid of intellectual ambition or achievement is not something I would wish for my own or anyone else’s daughter. But I do think we need to be careful at whose feet we lay the blame. By sneering – as that support worker did – at the women who express these kinds of preferences, we are simply buying into a culture of victim blaming. It is not the fault of women that this is all they are being led to believe they are worth.
As a society we are so far away from believing that attractive is not the best thing a woman can be. Much more lip service may be being paid to feminist ideals by the media and various other thought manipulators, but fundamentally little has changed. Actresses, television presenters, and even news readers are all still chosen and judged primarily for their looks. Female celebrities are publicly slammed purely on the basis of how much weight they may have put on or what they happen to have chosen to wear when they were photographed going about their day. Highly sexualised images of thin, beautiful women are hurled at us every single day with no let up. It is absolutely relentless and there is no escaping it.
Young women who have chosen to value their physical appearance over their intellectual ability are committing no bigger crime than simply picking up the ball and running with it. They are taking these incessant and aggressively foisted messages about who they are and what they should aspire to, and simply following them through to their logical conclusion. Not because they are stupid but because – rightly or wrongly – that is what they believe will bring them happiness, contentment, and success in their lives.
And so the question then becomes what we do about it. How we go about changing things so that what women do is seen to be more important than how they look. How we encourage our daughters to reject these poisonous ideas – thrust upon them by a self serving male dominated culture – that their entire value lies in their ability to attract and please men.
Because until those things do change, polls such as the one quoted by The Mail Online will just keep coming up with the same old same old answers.
Elegantly put, as always. We have recently moved from an affluent part of Oxford to an area of London which is very unwealthy and where children at the local primary school (and many of the parents) validate themselves through the labels they wear and the gadgets they own (plus one mother has just invested in a pair of remarkably large breasts). My daughter now begs for Ralph Lauren and i-gizmos so she can be admitted to the ‘in crowd’. Today she did an 8km sponsored hike in pouring rain and refused to wear her waterproof trousers because the were uncool. I’m appalled and distressed at how the very young equate looks and possessions with achievement and at how my once carefree daughter is burdened with the strain of it.
It is horrid when you see this sort of stuff starting to effect your kids. My daughter says that she wishes she could change her name as her own is ‘not pretty enough’. She wants to be called Lilliana for christs sakes. She is of course the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world and needs no decoration.
Hate the game, not the player. I always think that when Jordan pops into my head. I think what she represents is HORRENDOUS (yes, I do get shouty), but I understand the woman’s thinking and don’t blame her for it.
Same thing to the friend who, when informed I’d put on a ton of weight after quitting smoking, simply said ‘So you gonna start smoking again then?’ I can’t get behind that kind of thinking, but I really do understand where it’s coming from.
I like that – hate the game, not the player. That sums it up nicely.
I have to admit to rather liking myself a bit of Pricey. It is her utter unapologeticness (is that a word?) that I like. She really could not give a stuff. She’s going to do what she pleases and two fingers up to anyone who doesn’t like it. She’s got balls and that – at least – is something to admire I think.
Freedom of the individual is paramount. Freedom to choose. However, true fulfilment comes from feeding the person within, not feeding of living off the outward image. But people need to find their own way and should have the right to do so.
I agree Steve. Like I said, it becomes a question of how to persuade girls that it really *is* what’s inside that counts. Very difficult in our current surface obsessed culture.
I have a few issues with the wording on polls such as this. For instance – thin or ‘high’ IQ Few people have a very high IQ and the two are extremes, if the question was reworded to say ‘would you rather be thought of as slim or intelligent?’ I doubt the outcome would be so remarkable. Also, where is the ‘both please’ option, which I suspect most young women would select.
Yes, good point. Even subtle differences in wording can skew the results of these things, I’m sure you’re right.
Being attractive enough to get a rich husband is what most women have always wanted, for rather obvious biological reasons. Only well-educated, middle-class women find this depressing or contemptible, because they’ve been lucky enough to have other options in life.
I see.
I’m wondering though how, as a man, you could possibly know what ‘most women have always wanted?’ Do you have access to some store of information that none of the rest of us do?
Your argument essentially boils down to, Men are interested in looks, women are interested in money and the security that comes with that – because it’s natural innit. The reasoning of biological determinism only ever serves to close down debate. It is the equivalent of those of faith saying, ‘Well I believe it because I do.’ I never delete comments off my blog just because I don’t like them – I’m happy to debate with anybody – but I do expect people to be accountable for their arguments and to be able to back them up properly, with evidence. ‘Because it’s natural innit’ just isn’t good enough I’m afraid.
If women have sought out wealthy partners (and I accept that some have) this has nothing to do with the fact that they happen to have vaginas. It has to do with Capitalism, materialism, patriarchy, and social conditioning.
Your comment is also full of bald assumptions, both about me, and about other women who hold feminist ideals. To try to dismiss feminist argument as some sort of priviledged middle class indulgence is quite clever I suppose in that it allows you to dismiss it out of hand whilst still retaining a thin veneer of political correctness. However for your information I am neither middle class nor particularly well educated. I was brought up on a council estate by a single parent who made ends meet by claiming benefits and fraudulently doing odd jobs here and there. I am now a single parent myself living in overcrowded conditions in social housing. I barely scraped my GCSE’s, got just enough A levels to allow me to get into a third rate university through clearing, and after attempting to pass my first year twice, left without a degree.
Seeing as I work with other feminists and have done for years, perhaps I would be in a better position than you to make comment about the social spectrum from which they come. We are, of course, a mix of all sorts, as any other random group might be.
Gorilla Bananas – nice biological essentialism. What is your pop psychology analysis based on? Years of survey analysis with women? Time travel back to prehistoric humans?
Quite.
While to be honest discounting any survey in the Mail I would say that there may be a grain of truth to this and also this is not only a female problem. The rise of reality TV, fame via youtube, people like that Zuckerberg being worth billions while not really having produced anything has simply let to a widespred belief amongst some young people that you can get rich by either going on a reality show or thinking or some really good idea, patenting it and living off the proceeds for the rest of your days. I know several teenage boys who have left school who do nothing but sit in the basement playing video games and not looking for a job because they can’t be arsed or think they can invent some magic bullet to make them famous. In the case of women the easiest option even than inventing a widget that is worth millions is augmenting your assets. It is a perfectly valid reaction to ‘popular culture’ and WAG culture but of course it is not a terribly healthy thing.
Yes I don’t doubt that the ‘get rich and famous quick as a result of nothing much’ mentality affects both genders. A not so pleasant sign of the times like you say.